You are currently browsing the archive for the Other topics of interest category.
http://www.whydonttheyjustquit.com/
CLICK ON IMAGE ABOVE TO VIEW SHORT CLIP.
Any guesses who the woman is? Read the book for more clues!
Tags: AA, addict, addiction, addiction counseling, addiction help, addicts help, Al-Anon, Al-Anon literature, alanon, alanon ca, alanon group, alanon help, alanon literature, alanon manhattan, alanon steps, alcohol addiction help, alcohol counseling, alcohol help, alcoholic, alcoholic help, alcoholism help, allanon, Crisis counseling, family counseling, Family recovery, help for alcoholic, help for alcoholism, help for family of addicts, how to help a drug addict, Joe Herzanek, just quit, recovery, Why Don’t they Just Quit, whydonttheyjustquit
“In the middle of difficulty
lies opportunity.”
Your situation may be unique, but it’s not hopeless.
We specialize in those tough, crisis “seemingly impossible” situations.
There IS a solution. Together we can formulate a plan to restore sanity to your life — saving you and your family time, money, stress and unnecessary heartache.
Personalized consultations
with author/addiction counselor Joe Herzanek.
Specialized to your unique situation.
(in person or by phone)
Call: (303) 775.6493
or
Email: jherzanek@gmail.com
to learn more about a personal consultation
with Author/Addiction Professional Joe Herzanek, CAP
“Why Don’t They JUST QUIT?”
(to access site and order book/DVD, click here)
Tags: AA, addict, addiction, addiction counseling, addiction help, addicts help, Al-Anon, Al-Anon literature, alanon, alanon ca, alanon group, alanon help, alanon literature, alanon manhattan, alanon steps, alcohol addiction help, alcohol counseling, alcohol help, alcoholic, alcoholic help, alcoholism help, allanon, Crisis counseling, family counseling, Family recovery, help for alcoholic, help for alcoholism, help for family of addicts, how to help a drug addict, Joe Herzanek, just quit, recovery, Why Don't they Just Quit, whydonttheyjustquit
Providing families in need
with over 30 years of real-life,
hands-on experience and success.
Do you long to sleep through the night? Do you wonder if you are doing the “right thing”? Do you wish you could make them stop their addiction? Does your life seem out of control? Have you had enough drama to last a lifetime?
Your situation may be unique, but it’s not hopeless.
We specialize in those tough, crisis “seemingly impossible” situations.
There IS a solution. Together we can formulate a plan to restore sanity to your life — saving you and your family time, money, stress and unnecessary heartache.
Personalized consultations
with author/addiction counselor Joe Herzanek.
Specialized to your unique situation.
(in person or by phone)
Call: (303) 775.6493
or
Email: jherzanek@gmail.com
to learn more about a personal consultation
with Author/Addiction Professional Joe Herzanek, CAP
Read more
We understand there are times when life seems so out of control and hopeless–you just can’t bring yourself to sit down and find answers from a book or DVD.
In order to effectively come alongside and partner with you to make changes you can live with, we offer one-on-one consulting. While most of Joe’s consulting is done over the phone, he also provides on-site consulting services.
You and your family will work with Joe to formulate a plan which will begin to restore sanity to your life–saving time, money, stress and unnecessary heartache.
Begin taking the steps your family needs to end the chaos and receive specific guidance for your unique circumstances.
Joe will walk you through the steps you need to take, giving you knowledge, support and confidence to “do what needs to be done – every step of the way.” You can get through this.
Gain peace of mind, knowing that you are taking the steps necessary to begin healing and recovery–for your loved-one and your family.
Call: (303) 775.6493
or
Email: jherzanek@gmail.com
to learn more about personal consultation
with Author/Addiction Professional Joe Herzanek, CAP
Tags: AA, addict, addiction, addiction books, addictions help, Al-Anon, alanon, alcohol addiction help, changing lives foundation, drug use help, help an addict, just quit, recovery, Why Don’t they Just Quit
We met up with Eminem in a VIP lounge, and he talked about his new album, “Recovery” – which hits stores next Monday – and also really opened up about the trials he’s faced over the past several years.
This latest disc, he said, reflects a healthier place in his life.
“Recovery feels better than ever,” the Detroit rapper said. “Feels like I’m me again.”
But it wasn’t easy facing his drug addiction demons. Read more. . .
READ MORE INFO ABOUT STEP ONE:
“We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol
and that our lives had become unmanageable.”
~Step One, AA 12-Steps
Tags: 12 Step, AA Steps, addict, addicted, addicted teen, addiction recovery, addictions help, Al-Anon, alanon, alanon meeting, Alanon Step One, alanon steps, Author Joe Herzanek, changing lives foundation, drug addiction, drug dependence, drug help, drug use help, Eminem, Eminem Recovery, help for addiction, help for addicts, help for drug, help for family of addicts, hitting bottom, how to alcoholic, how to help a drug addict, how to help an addict, quit drugs, Step One, Why Don't they Just Quit, why dont they quit
Thanks to Jamie Alessandrine/There is Always Hope! for this.
One day at a time – this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone. . .
–Ida Scott Taylor
It’s not always easy to understand that the day stretching before us is all that counts. Daydreaming about the party last week, or getting upset all over again about a fight we had yesterday with a friend doesn’t help us right now. When our minds are on the past, we miss out on the conversation or the activity that is going on around us.
Every moment of the day is special and guaranteed to help us grow and understand life. All of us have been taught to pay attention in school or when others talk to us. But we should also pay attention to the birds, the sky, even the grass. And we can learn a lot by paying attention to the conversations going on around us and to the small voice inside us that helps us know right from wrong.
What’s going on today is enough to pay attention to.
Tags: AA, addict, addiction, addiction books, addictions help, Al-Anon, alanon, alcohol addiction help, changing lives foundation, drug use help, help an addict, just quit, recovery, Why Don't they Just Quit
. . . but it doesn’t have to be the end of the road.
Is Relapse Part of Recovery?
Addiction has been called a chronic relapsing disease. Relapse is when the person in recovery chooses to try some controlled using again after attempting to remain abstinent. We know that addicts/alcoholics can’t control substance use. If they could, they wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place. Relapse is one more failed attempt at trying to control how much they are able to use.
Using a substance occasionally and in moderation isn’t a problem for social drinkers. But once someone crosses over to habitual and uncontrolled use, there is no going back. Attempts to regain control—to use alcohol or drugs socially and occasionally—are common, and these attempts lead to relapses. Statistics show that approximately 90 per- cent of those who complete treatment will have a relapse—sometimes referred to as a slip.
Five months after leaving treatment in April, I tried just one more time to see if I could control my using. I went out with an old friend and drank.
I don’t remember if I called Gary or he called me. Gary and I used to take drugs together. He was a good friend. We had known each other since high school. He knew I had quit, but he didn’t know much about recovery. We hadn’t seen each other for months, since before I had gone to the treatment center. We went out to a bar. I don’t think I had any intention of drinking. After an hour or two of playing pool and being in the midst of a crowd of people who were drinking, I ordered a beer. To this day, I don’t know what I was thinking. After five or six beers, I knew I had screwed up.
I wasn’t nearly as wasted as I wanted to be. What now? Be- cause of everything I had heard in recovery groups, I now felt a tremendous sense of guilt. Why did I let this happen? Looking back on it, I can see that it was a chain of events. Talking with Gary, meet- ing him at a bar, staying and playing pool—all the sights, sounds and smells were too much for me in the beginning of my sobriety. A bad idea. Those few drinks did not give me the effect I craved. I realized that it was going to take much more than a few drinks. I didn’t want that old life back and it became obvious to me that I had to make an all or nothing choice.
It was just one night, but that one night motivated me to get right back to working on my recovery. This would fall into the category of a slip—one stupid decision that was brief and over quickly. I guess I just had to test the water one more time. What this experience did was confirm to me that my addiction was real. I felt like an idiot. I had just blown one hundred fifty days of sobriety, and I didn’t even enjoy it.
Having a few drinks had always been the start of trouble for me. I knew I had to come to my senses right away, or I would soon be look- ing for drugs as well. This small slip would end up as a complete return to full-blown using, or I could end it that night. By this time in my recovery, I had learned enough to know what was happening and what the consequences could be. I must have had a moment of clarity. No- body needed to tell me that I’d screwed up. Going back to the old life was the last thing I wanted.
I wasn’t sure what to do, so I decided to go back to my treatment center for a couple of days to sort this out.
I have heard similar stories from others who have relapsed. Many of them remember that exact, pivotal moment when they were faced with the decision of what to do. Here are the two different trains of thought that can occur to an addict after a relapse. I’ve blown it anyway, so I may as well keep using for a while. Or, This was a dumb idea. I’d better get right back to recovery before it gets much worse. Thankfully, the latter was my thinking.
Ways to Avoid Relapse
Developing relationships with others who are facing the same challenges are very important. A couple of close friends, a sponsor, a mentor—any one of these—can help hold a person accountable. I knew I had let some people down. But these same people were able to encourage me to keep moving forward.
One of the results of an addict spending time with people in recovery is that it will ruin their once seemingly gratifying relationship with alcohol and drug use. Those in recovery learn about the disease, and from that point on they know too much about its power to ever enjoy it the way they used to. They know that there’s no going back. If some- one slips, they often feel the way I did—like an idiot for even trying to enjoy it again. But this is all okay, as we all learn from mistakes like this. Family and friends shouldn’t get too discouraged when someone slips, because it’s common in early recovery. Look at it as one more opportunity for your loved one to become convinced that the addiction is indeed real.
My friend and addiction counselor Larry Weckbaugh in Eagle, CO compares recovery to a series of stairs—and landings in-between the flights. The addict might be up three flights and two landings when they relapse. They don’t fall into the basement; they only go down one floor.
Is there a difference between a slip and a relapse?
Sort of. The difference lies in how a person handles it. . .
Thanks to Jamie Alessandrine: There is Always Hope! for this.
Photo by Judy Herzanek
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, ‘I love you ,’ mean it.
FIVE. When you say, ‘I’m sorry,’ look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone’s dream. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don’t judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, ‘Why do you want to know?’
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say ‘bless you’ when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson !
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship..
NINETEEN. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone.. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.
RESCHEDULED FROM LAST WEEK:
To our friends (and their friends) in the Front Range, Colorado area, I’ll be on The Jim Pfaff live call-in radio show on 560 AM, KLZ “The Source”
THIS MORNING Wednesday, May 5 at 11:00 AM–12:00 PM-Mountain Time
Other time zones:
Pacific Time: 10:00 AM–11:00 AM
Central Time: 12:00 PM–1:00 PM
Eastern Time: 1:00 PM–2:00 PM
Call-in # is: (303) 477-5600
Go to: http://www.560thesource.com/
OR click this link to listen (live streaming) on your computer.
We’ll be talking calls and answering questions about how to deal with an addicted friend or loved-one. Please call with a question. I’d love to hear from you!
Grace and peace,
–Joe
Please forward this to friends and family who may be interested.
This broadcast reaches from Ft. Collins to Colorado Springs, CO—and you can listen to this worldwide via streaming internet.
Tags: 12 Step, 12 step alanon, 12-Steps, AA, addiction help, Al-Anon, Al-Anon groups, alanon, alanon online, alcohol addiction help, alcoholism, Chaplain Joe Herzanek, Christian recovery, drug addiction, drug use help, Jim Pfaff Radio, Jim Pfaff Show, Joe Herzanek, substance abuse, the 10 Toughest Questions
STEP 7: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
LISTEN TO JOE NOW (CLICK HERE)
Removing defects of character. Joe Herzanek, author of “Why Don’t They Just Quit?“,
discusses Step 7, (Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings) this week on Recovery Now!…
Tags: 12 Step, 12 step alanon, 12-Steps, AA, addiction help, Al-Anon, Al-Anon groups, alanon, alanon online, alcohol addiction help, alcoholism, Chaplain Joe Herzanek, Christian recovery, drug addiction, drug use help, Joe Herzanek, substance abuse, the 10 Toughest Questions
Don’t miss–THIS Sunday Night!
I’ve been waiting to see this for a long time. The book is great as well!
~Judy Herzanek
Winona Ryder, Barry Pepper portray pioneers Lois and Bill Wilson in “one of the great love stories of all time” premiering April 25
KANSAS CITY, Mo. (March 22, 2010) Golden Globe winner and two-time Academy Award nominee Winona Ryder (The Age of Innocence, Little Women) and Emmy Award and Golden Globe nominee Barry Pepper (Saving Private Ryan) star in the new Hallmark Hall of Fame presentation When Love Is Not Enough: The Lois Wilson Story. The film, premiering on CBS Sunday, April 25, 2010, 9-11pm ET/PT, is based on the true story of the sorely-tested but enduring love between Lois Wilson (Ryder), cofounder of Al-Anon, and her husband Bill Wilson (Pepper), cofounder of Alcoholics Anonymous.
In 1914, Lois Burnham met and fell in love with Bill Wilson. After his return from World War I, they married. Lois believed Bill was destined for greatness and, despite his increasing reliance on alcohol, showered him with love and support.
In 1934, after years of struggling to cover for Bill and trying desperately to manage his illness by herself, Lois finally witnessed Bill get and stay sober– not through her help, but from the support of fellow alcoholics and later, Dr. Bob Smith. As Bill and Dr. Bob attained lasting sobriety and co-founded Alcoholics Anonymous, Lois began to feel ignored, and she soon discovered she was not alone in her isolation and anger. Thousands of women and men, wives, husbands, sisters, brothers, daughters, sons existed whose lives and relationships had been ravaged because a loved one was an alcoholic. Thus was born Al-Anon, which she co-founded in 1951.
Together, Lois and Bill Wilson started movements that have given help, hope and life itself to millions of people around the world. Together, they’ve given the world an enduring and inspiring love story. In the words of Winona Ryder, “They loved each other deeply. I think this is one of the great love stories of all time.”
Winona Ryder says she felt a special sense of responsibility, playing Lois Wilson. Today, she says, “we take sharing and the power of support groups somewhat for granted. But back in 1951 Lois started something that was absolutely revolutionary. The award-winning actress says working on the film was personal for her. I have friends who are in Al-Anon, friends whose lives have been changed–in some cases, saved by that program. I have friends in A.A. who would be dead if it wasn’t for A.A.
Barry Pepper says he’s still not certain, in his words, “how two people can stay so full of love after enduring so much pain and punishment. Most marriages would have collapsed in the first year, but for some reason they stayed together. What is it that keeps a couple like this together, weathering these wicked storms? They had a genuine love affair.”
Barry Pepper lost 20 pounds to play Bill Wilson (Bill was a drinker, not an eater, the actor points out). Despite a hectic shooting schedule, Pepper says, “It inspired me, playing Bill Wilson. Enriched me. Humbled me. I felt–and feel deep gratitude that people like Bill and Lois Wilson existed, that they were so completely selfless and gave birth to these programs that have given help and hope to millions of individuals and families. I mean, where would we be as a society without A.A. and Al-Anon?”
John Bourgeois (Murder at 1600)and Rosemary Dunsmore (Anne of Green Gables: The Sequel) play Lois’s parents, Dr. Clark and Matilda Burnham. The movie is directed by John Kent Harrison (The Courageous Heart of Irena Sendler).
The film is produced by E1 Entertainment, in association with Hallmark Hall of Fame Productions. John Morayniss (Hung), Ira Pincus (Vinegar Hill) and Brent Shields (The Courageous Heart of Irena Sendler) are the executive producers. Suzanne Berger (The Unprofessionals)is supervising producer; Peter K. Duchow (My Name Is Bill W) is co-executive producer; Terry Gould (Why I Wore Lipstick to My Mastectomy) is producer.
William G. Borchert (My Name Is Bill W) and Camille Thomasson (The Magic of Ordinary Days) wrote the script, based on the book by Borchert, The Lois Wilson Story: When Love Is Not Enough (Hazelden, 2005).
Tags: AA, aa movie, addiction, Al-Anon, alanon, alanon movie, alcoholic, alcoholics anonymous, Christian recovery, Lois Wilson, quit drinking, recovery, substance abuse, Why Don't they Just Quit
Please join us this Thursday evening and tell your friends about this Workshop!
Almost everyone, “from Yale to Jail” has been affected by someone’s substance abuse. This seminar is for those who have friends, family or co-workers who are abusing drugs or alcohol and want to learn how to help that person. Straightforward answers from Chaplain Joe Herzanek, author, founder of Changing Lives Foundation, and an addiction professional who personally understands the powerful grip of addiction.
First Presbyterian Church, Boulder. (click for more details)
April 15th, 7:00-8:30
Open to the public.
Questions? Contact Joe Herzanek – 303-775.6493
Tags: 12 step alanon, AA, addiction help, Al-Anon, Al-Anon groups, alanon, alanon online, alcohol addiction help, alcoholism, Chaplain Joe Herzanek, Christian recovery, drug addiction, drug use help, Joe Herzanek, substance abuse, the 10 Toughest Questions
Need for substance abuse treatment could double by 2020, report shows
FRIDAY, Jan. 8 (HealthDay News) — Almost 5 percent of aging Baby Boomers in the United States are abusing drugs, a new government report shows.
That’s about 4.3 million adults over the age of 50 who are smoking marijuana, abusing prescription medication and engaging in other illicit drug activity — a number that far exceeds that of their parents’ generation.
“This is becoming more and more apparent in practice,” said Dr. Ihsan M. Salloum, chief of the Division of Alcohol and Drug Abuse: Treatment and Research at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine. “You have both prescription drugs being used that people can become addicted to and also people who have had a pattern of use from before.”
The driving force behind the trend, said Peter Delany, director of the Office of Applied Studies at the U.S. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), is people who used drugs when they were younger and never really stopped.
This is, after all, the era of the Rolling Stones as senior citizens.
The projected increase in the number of older drug abusers is expected to double the demand for treatment services by 2020, the report stated.
The report, based on data collected during 2006-08 from almost 20,000 U.S. adults born between 1946 and 1964, found that more men are smoking marijuana than are abusing prescription drugs (4.2 percent vs. 2.3 percent). About the same proportion of women engage in both behaviors (hovering near 2 percent).
Many more men aged 50 to 54 acknowledged using marijuana in the previous year than women (8.5 percent vs. 3.9 percent).
Pot smoking was more prevalent among the younger end of the spectrum (those aged 50 to 59), while prescription drug abuse was more common in the older age bracket (aged 65 and up).
Less than 1 percent of older adults said they had used drugs other than pot or prescription-like medications, including 0.5 percent for cocaine, 0.1 percent for hallucinogens and 0.1 percent for heroin.
In the period 2002-06, the annual average number of people over the age of 50 using illicit drugs was 2.8 million.
Although “harder” drugs such as crystal meth and cocaine aren’t the main offenders in this demographic, drug use among older, generally more frail, individuals does bring special concerns.
“This population tends to have other health problems, especially chronic health problems,” Delany explained. “And as we age we don’t metabolize drugs the same way.”
Also, older people with a substance-abuse diagnosis are much more at risk of suicide, said Dr. David Schlager, clinical assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral science at Texas A&M Health Science Center College of Medicine and a psychiatrist with Lone Star Circle of Care, which has health clinics throughout Texas.
Finding appropriate treatments for this group adds more potential complications.
“We don’t really have data and research for the most effective treatments for older individuals,” said Jeffrey Parsons, chair of psychology at Hunter College in New York City. “Are existing programs effective or do we need to start from scratch?”
And the two different groups of older drug users — those with new addictions and those with long-term issues — may need different treatments, he added.
Not to mention the inherent limitations in drug abuse treatment and services as they currently stand. “The treatment is not terrible advanced,” Schlager noted.
On the other hand, Schlager said, Baby Boomers may be in a better position both to access what services there are and to pay for them.
SOURCES: Jeffrey T. Parsons, Ph.D., professor and chair, psychology, Hunter College, New York City; Ihsan M. Salloum, M.D., professor, psychiatry and behavioral sciences, and chief, Division of Alcohol and Drug Abuse: Treatment and Research, University of Miami Miller School of Medicine; David Schlager, M.D., clinical assistant professor, psychiatry and behavioral science, Texas A&M Health Science Center College of Medicine, and psychiatrist, Lone Star Circle of Care; Peter J. Delany, Ph.D., director, Office of Applied Studies, Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration
Tags: Baby Boomers, Elderly substance abuse, older drug users, treatment for seniors
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a debate that goes on inside people. He said,”My son, the battle between two wolves is inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
The grandson thought about this for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
Note: The Haven is our all-time favorite recovery program for women. A visit to this facility is all it takes to fall in love with the Moms, the babies and this “incredibly successful recovery program.” Click on the links at the bottom for more info and a couple great clips.
The Window
By Julie Krow:Chief Operating Officer and Haven Director
Early in my career I was a child protection caseworker and one of my first assignments was to investigate alleged substance use and domestic violence in a home with three young children. I had an address for an apartment building and wondered how I would find the family I was looking for. As I pulled up to the apartment building I saw people lingering on the lawn, discarded liquor bottles and trash everywhere, and a window.
There was something about that window that caught my eye. There was a screen blowing loosely in the wind and a small child’s legs were protruding from the window. I saw tiny hands clutching a damaged window frame. In a moment, I knew that I had located the family.
I heard some yelling, some swearing, saw the child being yanked back in, and heard a loud smacking noise and some crying. I headed up the stairs, trying to keep an open mind, thinking about what I might find.
An older woman opened the door and said there were no children in the home. I saw another woman. She was very thin, missing her front teeth, lying on the couch, nearly passed out. There was a drugs on the table, beer cans and cigarettes strewn everywhere.
I asked to see the home. The woman on the couch woke up and started making calls. The older woman led me to each room showing me that there were no children in the home. I asked her to open the last door and she grudgingly opened it. I found three children lying on a mattress on the floor, clothing and trash everywhere. The baby was very thin. I could see her ribs and she had on a dirty diaper. The other children had bruises on their arms and legs and cigarette burns on their backs. They huddled together and were fearful of their caretakers. I knew that this was not an isolated incident and struggled internally with the dilemma of how to help these children without making their lives more complicated or their situation worse. At the same time, I felt some compassion for their caretakers, knowing that they probably came from a similar situation themselves.
The children did not cry when they said goodbye to their family and happily jumped in the police car. I thought about the childrens view and wondered how they could say goodbye so easily.
At the station, they ate everything the officers brought to them, and smiled and posed gleefully for the camera. It didn’t seem to occur to the children that photographing their extensive bruises and burns was part of documenting a criminal case; they had adapted to their situation.
I tried to be fair, to keep children safe, and to work with families so children could remain safely in their homes. I searched for caring relatives, and placed kids in foster and adoptive homes when nothing else worked. But I always wished that I could have intervened earlier, that I could have helped these mothers when they were pregnant. I knew it would be best if the mother and baby could be in a safe environment together and the infant could be raised by their own family, in their own culture. Every child I worked with always looked for their family at some point; they always wanted to go home. I stayed in that job for several years, oftentimes saddened by the suffering and despair I witnessed.
Today, as Director of the Haven — a substance abuse treatment program for pregnant women, where babies can live with their moms while their moms learn to be kind and effective parents — my wish to intervene early, and keep families together, has come true.
Every day, about 3:45, our chubby, happy babies crowd around the window at the Baby Haven waiting for their moms to arrive. Staff and volunteers hold the younger babies who pedal their legs and waive their arms in anticipation. I wonder how these infants and toddlers seem to intuitively know what time it is. A group of Haven moms walk down the sidewalk pushing colorful strollers, waving happily at the babies. These moms hold their heads high. They look healthy, sober, happy, and confident. The babies bounce, point, blow kisses, squeal, and giggle excitedly knowing their moms are coming for them.
Our program has been so effective that we have outgrown our small childcare facility. We are now preparing to build a therapeutic early childhood education center for drug exposed infants up to age three.
Our volunteer, Kathryn Winn, has made a request for our new building. The window at the current Baby Haven is too small and there is not enough room for every baby to look for their mother. Kathryn wants a new window, one that is very large and low with a safe, smooth ledge to pull up on.
I can’t wait for the day we open our new building and Kathryn will have her window. All of the Haven babies will see their mothers coming up the street to gather them up and take them home.
These babies cannot wait to see their mothers coming. And nothing could make me happier.
Click here to view a short clip that Changing Lives produced for The Haven several years ago.
Find out how YOU can Help.
Click here to download brochure
Tags: addiction recovery, Baby Haven, drug addiction, Haven House, Julie Krow, Methamphetamine, The Haven, Women's recovery
Available Now! Only on Amazon.com (click here to order)
Click to watch preview trailer
A valuable tool . . . when you don’t have time to wade through volumes of material. Joe Herzanek offers simple, straightforward, no-nonsense answers to the most often-asked questions.
A wealth of information. Being able to gain this much information in one short sitting will put your mind at ease and give you the confidence to move forward—knowing that recovery is within reach.
1. How can I tell . . . if a person is addicted or just a heavy user?
2. How do I confront this person?
3. How to handle adolescent use and abuse?
4. How do I show my love without enabling?
5. Does treatment work?
6. We cant afford treatment. What now?
7. How do I handle relapse? Will this ever stop?
8. What if they just cant quit?
9. Ive tried it all. Nothing is working. What now?
10. How do I get MY life back?
Thanks to Macrojohn!
Tags: Add new tag, Macro, Macrojohn, Tell the truth
This post is thanks to my friend Holly Jo!
There is an old Hotel/Pub in Marble Arch, London which used to have gallows adjacent. Prisoners were taken to the gallows (after a fair trial of course) to be hung. The horse drawn dray, carting the prisoner was accompanied by an armed guard, who would stop the dray outside the pub and ask the prisoner if he would like ”ONE LAST DRINK”.
If he said YES it was referred to as “ONE FOR THE ROAD”
If he declined, that prisoner was “ON THE WAGON”
So there you go.
Have a great weekend!
Also:
Most people seem to have some idea of what “Watch your P’s and Q’s” means, but I didn’t know where it came from for most of my life.
In pubs, they had chalkboards where they would keep track of how many Pints and Quarts of ale each patron consumed!
Tags: alcohol history lesson, History lesson, Marble Arch London, On the wagon, one for the road, One last drink, Watch your P's and Q's
This article was originally titled “10 Tips for Surviving Thanksgiving with the Dysfunctional Family.”
It is so full of great information that I decided to repost it with a slightly different title.
By Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D.
For some families, holidays are just another excuse to get together to eat good food and to have a good time. They’re not looking for articles like this one because they’ve somehow figured out the formula for successful family togetherness with minimum stress. If you have a challenging family, it’s only human to be a bit incredulous and then more than a bit jealous to see other folks living out the holiday fantasy when you’re just trying to live through it.
Just because it’s always been that way doesn’t mean you’re doomed to a lifetime of Thanksgivings where you just grin and go to your happy place until, thank goodness, it’s over! You can make a difference. You may even be able to start to enjoy your personal dysfunctional crowd. With a little planning and some social engineering, you can take control of the situation and make this Thanksgiving feel better.
First, make an honest appraisal of the family. It’s not new information that your mother doesn’t like your sister’s husband or your grandmother is going to want attention for her latest ache and pain. It’s not news to anyone that so-and-so has to be the center of attention or so-and-so somehow gets her feelings hurt every year. Instead of denying these realities, plan for them. (You get extra credit if you can find a way to have a sense of humor about them too.) Then consider using the following tips to begin to avoid at least some of the usual family drama.
1. Line up some co-conspirators. Chances are you’re not the only one who is irked by your family’s dysfunctional routines. Figure out who you can call on to help make things different. Then do some pre-event strategizing. Agree to tag-team each other with the folks you all find particularly difficult. Set up a signal you’ll use to call in a replacement. Brainstorm ways to steer a certain individual’s most tiresome and troublesome antics in a different direction.
2. Ask your co-conspirators to brainstorm ways to give challenging relatives an assignment: Is someone always critical of the menu? Ask her if she would please bring that complicated dish that is her trademark so she’ll have a place to shine. Is there a teenager who mopes about, bringing everyone down? Maybe offer to pay him to entertain the younger set for a couple hours after dinner so the adults can talk.
3. Invite “buffers.” Most people’s manners improve when outsiders enter the scene. If you can count on your family to put their best feet forward for company, invite some. (If not, don’t.) There are always people who would love a place to go on holidays or who would like to experience a real American Thanksgiving. Think about elderly people in your church or community whose grown children live far away, or divorced friends whose kids are with the other parent this year, or foreign exchange students from your local high school or college.
4. Nowhere is it written that there shall be alcohol whenever a family gets together. If there are problem drinkers in the family, let everyone know ahead of time that you are holding an alcohol-free party. Serve sparkling cider and an interesting non-alcoholic punch. People in your family who can’t stand being at a gathering without an alcoholic haze will probably leave early or decline the invitation. Everyone else will be spared another holiday ruined by someone’s inability to handle their drinking.
5. Take charge of seating. Have some of the younger kids make place cards and assign seats. Folks are less likely to switch places when admiring kids’ handiwork. Put people who rub each other the wrong way at opposite ends of the table. Seat the most troublesome person right next to you or one of your co-conspirators so that you can head off unfortunate conversation topics as soon as they start.
6. Guide the conversation. If your family doesn’t seem to know how to talk without getting into arguments or if you’re not the most socially adept person yourself, give yourself some help by introducing The Conversation Game (see below). Announce at the beginning of the meal that you want to use the gathering as a time to get to know each other better. Ask everyone to indulge you by playing the game for at least part of the meal. Hopefully, people will like this change in family dynamics enough to want to keep it going.
7. Give kids a way to be included. Then set them free. Kids are simply not going to enjoy being trapped at a table with adults (especially dysfunctional adults) for extended periods of time. They get restless. They get whiny. They slump in their chairs. Yes, they should be expected to behave with at least a minimum of decorum during the meal but head off complaints and tantrums by planning something for them to do while the adults linger at the table. Have the materials for a simple craft project set up and ready to go. Remember that teenager in #4? Perhaps this is when she plays a game outside with the younger kids while older ones watch a movie.
8. No willing teens? Set up a childcare schedule ahead of time so the adults spell each other. Auntie oversees a kid project while the rest of the adults finish their meal. Uncle takes the kids out to run around between dinner and desert. Plan ahead to share the load and nobody feels martyred and everybody has a better time.
9. Provide escape routes. Togetherness is not for everyone. Make sure there are ways for the shyer or more intimidated to get away from the crowd. If most people will be watching football, set up a movie in another room for those who want out. Ask for help in the kitchen to give the overwhelmed person a graceful way to withdraw from the bore who is boring her. Set up a jigsaw puzzle on a card table in a corner so that people who don’t want to be part of the conversation have a way to occupy themselves and still be part of the party. Arrange with one of your co-conspirators to suggest a before- or after-dinner walk for people who need a breather.
10. After everyone leaves, reward yourself. Sink into your favorite chair and give yourself credit (and an extra piece of pie?) for trying to make a difference. It takes a lot of time and a lot of effort to make significant change in the habits and attitudes of a dysfunctional family. Any small step in the right direction is something to be thankful for. Good for you!
The Conversation Game
This is a game the whole family can play. Make up a stack of cards with discussion starters on them. Brainstorm “starters” that will make people reminisce or laugh. Make sure to include cards that appeal to all ages. Some ideas are listed below.
To play the game, ask the person to your right to pick a card and read it. Each person at the table gets to answer. It’s fine for someone to “pass” if they don’t have something to say. After everyone has had a turn to respond, the deck gets passed to the next person to choose a card. And so on.
Sample starters:
What song brings up the happiest memories for you?
If you were a car, what kind would you be?
If you were given a thousand dollars with the rule that you couldn’t spend it on yourself, what would you do with it?
What was the best day of your life so far?
If you could change places with a celebrity, who would it be and why?
If you could go to a fancy restaurant and price were no object, where would you go and what would you order?
What is the best way to cheer you up when you’re down?
What is the one thing you’ve done in your life that you are proudest of?
What was your favorite childhood game or toy? (For kids, what is it now?)
If you formed a band, what would you name it? What kind of music would you play?
If you had the choice of a day: Would you rather choose a day 10 years ago or a day 10 years from now?
If you could have 1 superpower, what would it be?
If you could live somewhere else for a year, where would you go?
If you knew you were going to spend a year in a science station in Antarctica, what 3 things would you most want to take with you to do when you weren’t working?
What do you think is the secret to staying young at heart?
When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? Do you remember why? (For kids: What do you think you’d like to be and why?)
What bargain would you love to find on eBay or at a garage sale?
What do you really, really hope someone will invent soon?
If someone gave you a gift certificate for a tattoo, what would you get and where would you put it?
Which would you rather be: A famous athlete, a great singer, or an important politician?
Tags: 10 Tips for Surviving Holidays, Dysfunctional family, Surviving holidays
Recently called to our attention–Why Don’t They Just Quit? featured on Yahoo Answers. Read more:
